It's not always fairytales and happy endings

Monthly Archives: February 2017

I feel so awful because I am vexed, tired and hungry and I am having a headache. I cannot sleep because I have so much work to do.. The last thing I needed was to have Little Elephant to be the least comforting person of all today.. All i wanted was to complain and receive some warmth.. But all I received was coldness.. When we first started out it was okay for me to be upset.. But for many times now I noticed that whenever I am upset even Little Elephant shuns me. He is so intolerant of me when I am upset which makes me feel even worse. Is it only when I am happy I should talk to people and hide away from the world when I am sad? I am admittedly unreasonable and “sian” when I am upset but isnt it how people are when they are sad? i am so reliant on him and now if even he does nothing to comfort me, what can I do to comfort myself or who else can I turn to? I am feeling so lost.. Does having a boyfriend mean that he would help me pull through tough times? Arent we supposed to support each other in good times and bad times.. I think recently he has only been here when times are good and disappearing when times are bad. Perhaps people grow tired of me after a while. I thought that he would be different from the rest but he is just like my past boyfriends.. Incapable of handling my absurd personality.. I know it is not them, its me that is absurd. I handle stress in a very negative manner. I dont think I will ever be able to find someone who can really handle me all the time.. Maybe what I need is not a companion but a baby sitter haha. The more I think about these things the more I want to return to my old ways of handling stress. Seems like its the only way I can handle stress without help from anyone.