A stormy part of my life right now, for the past 4 days, something terrible has to happen each day.
Day 1: oops.
Day 2: was filled with stress and anxiety, as well as anger and guilt.
Day 3: Phew finally a breather…? Not.
(Ms K have been asking me whats wrong after I talk to a kid. I wonder if she thinks I am not professional enough to speak to the child or she caught me carrying the child away during naptime..)
Oh yeah my braces broke.
Day 4: I am typing this in a cab, I am late for work.. i missed all 3 alarms! AND my waterbottle leaked into my bag..
I hope the rainbow comes soon..
Listening to: Secret Love Song
I just finished the books To all the boys I loved before and Ps I still love you by Jenny Han. It is almost like a shortened K drama in a book!! Was truly a page turner and entertaining. I particularly love how the relationship between Peter and Lara Jean is so.. real. Unlike fairytales. I feel rather empty now that I finished the books and I am praying for a director to turn it into a book.. or I can just watch a K drama hahaha!
Today I checked my e mail and found out my scholarship application has been rejected. I feel like I understand, but a large part of me feels like if I hadnt tried then I wouldnt be rejected. It hurts my confidence level. Nonetheless I will try again if I think I should after my year 1.
Perhaps it is because of my lack of understanding in the field now. I want to work really hard and be good to my parents.
I fantasize about getting them a new car, a new house, a new life that doesnt need them to be at the beck and call of their bosses.
I am typing on my phone today, while the kids are sleeping hehe. I really wanted to do a little drawing but I couldnt find the papers today.
I just had my long anticipated beehoon soup. Was truly excited about it since I found out that its Beehoon soup on Wednesday!
I have been thinking a lot and I ended up with a bunch of questions that I cannot answer. Especially about the book I just finished reading the book Never Tell by Katherine Mccall. She was a victim of incest rape by her father. This book was does not fully recount her experience, but it recounts how she dealt with the experience as she grew to become an adult, a mom and eventually a grandmother.
As I read the book I constantly questioned myself.
For example I asked myself, what is closure? Is it closure when you forgive? Or when you talked things out? Is it closure when you forget? Or when the person dies?
I tried to draw parallels with my experiences and realized I am not sure of the answer either.
In the book, Katherine met up with her dying father and told him that she forgave him. But I felt that she only found proper closure only when she saw him in the casket. Was forgiveness for the sake of making herself feel better?
How did she managed to feel the strong need for filial piety even though he made her life miserable? If she was truly miserable because of her father, could her treatments be avoided if she simply tried to move on and not contact her father?
Was Mary Anne a counselor? Or a living god to Katherine?
I cannot answer them because I dont fully understand what Katherine has to go through. And when I drew parallels to my situation I realized I would have reacted differently as afterall, I am not her. Do I really need to answer those questions? I dont think so. But I would still ask them anyway.
I am on my couch, leaning on a Tutu kueh cushion. I love how its cute AND comfortable! It is already Monday, my work is starting in 9 hours. I am doing relief for N1 tomorrow, but I am not sure if I will be pushed to another class again hahaa. It always happen whenever I take the N1 class!!
I had a great day today, woke up pretty early and went to Little Elephant’s place for early lunch because hes booking in early today. I had hokkien mee for lunch! It was $4 but the portion was really big! and yes you guessed it, I finished it alll. I had dinner with Little Elephant’s family at Hup Choon Eating house(Binjal Park there!) The dishes there were delectable and we gobbled EVERY bit of it. Ugh thinking of the all food makes me hungry ): I wanna eat. I eat better food when I am outside than when I am home, sometimes the food at home looks so unappetizing that I eat just for the sake of energy.
I also watched Angry Bird today! A little disappointed because while I appreciated the animation, the plot was a little confusing at first and only picked up towards the end of the movie. For example, I didn’t understand why Red’s actions could count as anger. He was sometimes simply pessimistic, sour and rude but his actions didn’t always feel like anger to me. Perhaps it is to mimic the realistic human nature. After all, if he was truly angry in all that he does he would be the same character Anger from Inside Out. Nonetheless, the characters were pretty cute and relatable. It is still a fun movie to enjoy with your friends tho!!
While I am typing I am looking at Bing Bong pacing around her play pen. I knew she needed to pee and quickly placed her inside the play pen to pee. She did and now she’s looking for a way out hehe.
I think her floppy ears, gorgeous eyes and her furry body makes it irresistible to stroke her!